As we discussed in last week’s blog, we often find ourselves not only as teachers of martial arts but also as mentors in life, helping to guide young minds into becoming confident adults. In many ways we become like an extra parent to our students, backing up and reinforcing the messages they are receiving at home. While you cannot dictate what a parent will do, if a parent is seeking help, this is a good opportunity to share the basic principles that you follow with your students.
Here is part two of principles we can share with our parents…
6. Foster Independence - setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps them develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, they are going to need both. They push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else.
7. Be consistent - If your rules are unpredictable, or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child’s misbehavior is your fault, not theirs. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. Base authority on wisdom and not power.
8. Avoid harsh discipline - Of all the forms of punishment that parents use, the one with the worst side effects is physical punishment. Children who are physically punished are more prone to fighting with other children and more likely to be bullies. They may learn to use aggression to solve disputes with others.
9. Explain your rules and decisions - Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to. Give and explain to them the experience of your own priorities and judgment.
10. Treat your child with respect - The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat them respectfully. You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for their relationships with others.
Kyoshi Dave Kovar has a lifelong passion for helping children and their parents lead healthier, happier lives. His expertise as a leader and teacher in the martial arts world, as well as his own journey of fatherhood, gives him a unique perspective on what it really means to be a parent. With this experience, Kovar has published several books engaging the topics of parenting. To purchase and read his books, visit our online bookstore by clicking here.
